Almost three years now

It’s been almost three years since Cliff left.  I’ve been doing some reflecting these past couple of weeks.  I’ve been thinking some about the significance of my life with Cliff and how it shaped who I am, now.  I have been missing him, as well.  That will never go away, completely, I suppose.

I’ve been feeling a bit blue, lately.  As February 18th approaches I am aware that some of my “heaviness” is connected to this time of year.  There is an inversion and below freezing temperatures – the same type of weather that preceded Cliff’s departure.

But, I don’t cling to the sorrowful memories anymore.  There is so much more joy than sorrow.  God has given me an amazing new life.  It is like I have the chance to experience two lives on earth. My new life is just as full and rich as my previous life and, yet, does not diminish the previous life and experiences I had.  Sorrow is sometimes, still, a companion that I carry.  It just doesn’t weigh as much as it used to.  And, like in “Hinds Feet on High Places”, I have learned to embrace the traveling companions of sorrow and suffering as a part of this life’s journey.  In that fact, I find I have more joy and hope for the future.

God has given me a wonderful new husband.  A second chance at love.  He is so very different from Cliff – a fact for which I am grateful to God as there cannot be many comparisons.  Will loves God and loves people.  That is where the comparisons end.  I have so, so much to be grateful for.  Today, I will choose to have a thankful heart and not let my temporary emotions rule me.  I will “press on to the upward call of Christ” and “run the race as to win”.

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